I was reflecting the other day on the fact that I’ve connected a number of people who have gone on to work together, find new opportunities, or become firm friends. This brings me such joy! It’s especially rewarding when I can see from the outset that two people are a good fit, and even more so when I later hear the success stories. It made me think about my own connections, and whether I am nourishing my work relationships enough. Somehow, it feels easier to do that for other people than for myself. But am I doing enough to create space for my own growth, too? I recently learned that one of my projects is no longer happening. With that comes uncertainty, of course, but also the opportunity to step into something new. As I look to build work connections, I keep thinking about the old adage that new business is a numbers game. That has never quite stacked up for me. Perhaps that’s true if you’re selling a straightforward product. But what people are really buying from me is the strength of our connection, the trust and respect, and the possibility that I might have a positive impact on them and their business. For me, that comes through nurturing relationships rather than simply casting the net widely. I’m reminded of a rule I used to follow before lockdown: I aimed to connect with three people a week, sometimes by email, often in person. It was a fun and disciplined practice, and it made me more intentional about deepening relationships rather than just collecting contacts. Coming out of lockdown, I found myself immersed in a couple of big projects. The world had changed, in-person time was reduced, and I continued to fight with the tension between following rules and leaving things up to the universe. But what I’ve realised this week is that I am much clearer on my values, and on where I genuinely add value. Because of that, I know I would benefit from making a more conscious effort to build new work connections because I know where I should put my energy. What’s interesting is where those connections come from. Whilst I’m talking about paid work, I find that having a narrow lens on where work connections come from is very limiting. Often it’s better for me to seek out people who see me fully and understand what I can offer and that might be through friends, pro bono work as well as the more traditional work routes. And from there, new opportunities and introductions often grow naturally. I know I need to connect every day to feel fully alive. That can take many forms: a random chat with a stranger, a swim, volunteering, time with family and friends, or doing work that allows me to inspire others and make a positive difference. So on this quest to deepen my work connections, I realise it is not about a frantic flurry of emails. It is about pausing, slowing down, tuning into myself, and finding the connections that allow me to shine brightly and have the greatest impact.  I will be making a point of connecting with someone every week, but it is the depth of the connection, not the number of connections, that will allow me to flourish. So who might you connect with today?

Last week a complete stranger stopped me in my local pool and complimented me on my swimming. I can’t tell you how excited I was – it felt like getting a gold star from the teacher, and it made my day. It came in the context of me pushing myself hard to improve my swimming, which can feel very tough at times. Lately I’ve been attending a couple of classes where the speed and pace have increased considerably, and I often find myself trailing at the back of the lane, barely able to keep up. On those days, it’s easy to feel slow, behind, not quite enough. But when I take a step back and consider where I’ve come from, the picture looks very different. I’ve significantly improved; the only reason I’m finding it so hard is that I keep choosing more difficult and challenging classes. I’ve moved the goalposts on myself. My benchmark is no longer where I started, it’s the fastest person in the lane, the toughest set, the next stretch of water. No wonder it feels hard. Sometimes it’s difficult to see what we’ve achieved and who we’ve become because we are constantly on a mission to push ourselves and improve. We quietly raise our own standards again and again and then judge ourselves against those higher and higher expectations. The progress is real, but it gets lost in the noise of the next thing we “should” be doing.  When I think about those challenging classes, the truth is that I am the only one getting worked up about my performance. Everyone else is dealing with their own stuff – their breathing, their technique, their day at work – and I doubt they have time to worry about what I’m doing. The story that “everyone is watching” lives mainly in my head. In reality, most people are too busy staying afloat in their own lane to scrutinise mine. Swimming has taught me that I need balance in my life. I want to be operating at my full wingspan, and that’s why I push myself, but it needs to be on my terms. That means noticing where the energy feels right, where I still find joy, and where there is a sense of fulfilment from what I’m doing. It’s the difference between stretching myself and snapping. When I find the right mix – the tough sessions that expand me and the steady sessions that remind me how far I’ve come – I feel more grounded, more present, more myself. It’s not helpful to compare myself to others and yet, however much I know this, I still fall into that trap. We all do. We scroll, we watch, we glance across at the next lane, and before we realise it we are measuring ourselves against someone else’s goals, timeline or definition of success. We forget that we all have our own journeys and our own paths, with different starting points, constraints and dreams. The person flying past me in the pool might have been swimming for decades; I might have had a terrible night’s sleep. The comparison is never as simple or as fair as it seems. Sometimes I feel the tension between wanting to be part of a community and staying on my own path. I want to belong, to be in the lane with others, and at the same time I want to honour my rhythm, my goals, my way of doing things. I’ve realised that the community I need is the one that supports and cheers me on based on my own goals, not someone else’s. I don’t need to be competitive with others; I just want to keep moving forward on my own path, at my own pace. And half the time that path is still being defined. I’m trying things, changing my mind, veering off course and occasionally deciding that the “wrong” lane was exactly the right experiment after all. The friends who support me when I choose a different path – who stay when I show up slower, more tired, or a bit unsure – are the ones who remind me that I am present and moving forward, even when it might not feel like it. They help me see the progress I can’t yet see in myself. So this is the reminder I’m holding on to: nothing compares to me. Not because I am better or worse than anyone else, but because my life, my experiences and my dreams are uniquely mine. Your lane is yours; mine is mine. The real work is not to be faster than the person next to us, but to keep showing up, to keep learning, and to keep honouring the path that is unfolding under our own feet. And if a stranger happens to stop you one day and notice how far you’ve come, let it in. Let it count. Let it remind you that even when you are busy chasing the next challenge, you are already someone who has travelled a long way – and nothing, and no one, truly compares to that.