Would I change a thing?
It’s January and lots of you might be thinking about whether you have made the right resolutions for the year. I find the word resolution so cut and dried – it’s defined as “a firm decision to do or not to do something”. No wonder we feel a strong sense of failure when we don’t manage to keep up our resolutions.
Instead, I like to think about making intentions and forming healthy habits to help me get there. And it’s totally ok to change those habits to find a way that will fit comfortably with the rhythm of your life. The key is to be self-aware and know whether you are avoiding something slightly challenging or scary, or whether there is genuinely a good reason for changing that habit.
My intention for this year is to take on a big swim and to get there I have upped my training. Whilst I’m excited about the swim, I am also really scared and it triggers my old narrative of ‘I’m rubbish at sport’ and in turn, my embarrassment doing sport around other people.
Last week I found myself considering cancelling a swimming training session and I stopped to reflect and ask myself why? Did I need to change the time because of other important commitments or was it because I was fearing the session and looking for an excuse to cancel? I realised I was anxious about the session and there was no other good reason to cancel. I sat with the fear, I sat with the discomfort, and I thought about how good I would feel at the end of the session. More importantly for me, I reminded myself that I wouldn’t have even considered going to a session like this 3 years ago. I am swimming in higher circles than before and sometimes I don’t give myself credit for this.
The path to growth means we constantly put ourselves in discomfort, then get more comfortable and aim for the next big thing and face the discomfort again. We often forget how far we have come and don’t take the time to celebrate the successes along the way.
What did I learn from my session?
- This is my session and no-one else’s. I have to set my own targets and be honest with myself afterwards about my successes and what I would like to work more on
- I often have imposter syndrome and the fear that other people are judging me for being too slow. After the session I realised that I couldn’t remember a single thing about anyone else’s technique, so I doubt they can remember anything about me! Most people are concentrating on themselves in those situations
- I always think I am the only one worried about something and yet whenever I share this, I realise that I am not alone. Being more vulnerable with others has helped me form stronger relationships and embrace my fears
- Kindness is an important part of my life and yet I don’t always consider how harshly I am judging myself – talking to myself as I would support a friend helps me to encourage myself, celebrate how far I have come and know when to push myself more
- I know that my habits work best when they are things I want to do rather than things I feel I have to do. I wanted to do this session, even if I did feel the fear, because I enjoy learning, getting fitter and the positive impact on my mental health
- There will be discomfort but when I analysed it, I realised that most of that discomfort was my limiting beliefs rather than anything tangible stopping me doing it
- I know I need flexibility, so I have picked sessions where I have flexibility each week to fit around my other commitments
- I need to be self-aware and honest with myself about why a habit is not embedding itself successfully – Is it the wrong time? Am I really interested in doing this? Or is fear getting in the way?
And for me personally, I need to remind myself that every swim I have ever done has made me happier, stronger, braver and better equipped to conquer the world.


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